saturday / 3:05:00 PM

it felt like a long week. it was only a 3 day work week after the chinese new year break. but it felt so damn long. and its starting to feel monotonous again. starting to feel like i need something to make me feel accomplished, satisfied, where i've fulfilled something. it makes me feel lost as im still trying to find my way around, trying to make myself feel useful again. where the best thing of after every day is to be able to sweat it out. to come home and feel good after a warm bath. to bake muffins although my house is filled with festive goodies. to just sit at the living room, reread the days papers slowly and stone as the muffins bake.

i'm afraid of losing my ability to write. or rather, the feeling, the natural flow, to write creatively, to express my thoughts. as i sit on the chair the whole day it feels like my brain is wasting away. i told myself, i have to try to count my blessings. i have to be patient. i have to make the effort to keep that writer in me, keep those creative cells going.maybe embark on personal projects? read more? i have to look at any other little things that can just make my day better.

its just one of those days where you just feel like doing nothing. but you just want some quiet time to yourself. some space. to think about everything. to reflect. to find some meaning. to find some direction. not that i'm losing my mind, but some quiet time will always be good to make me feel better, to feel at ease, to feel that things are not as bad as it seems. that things are great.

Labels: muse