the extended break / 12:10:00 PM

it has been more than a month since my return. i'm sitting here in the very quiet and bright living room, birds chirping, ceiling fan whirring, trying to once again craft another cover letter. i'm starting to think i should cast a wider net. just to try. while i'm still not sure if that particular job is what i really want. beggars cant be choosers they say.

it has been 10am mornings. sometimes earlier. the latest is usually 10.20am, nothing later than that. greys anatomy repeats on star world at 10am. gym. walking to ang mo kio for that. leisurely reading the papers. sometimes not even reading them, just flipping through them. and then when a day comes to an end, or maybe even before, i start thinking what should i do tomorrow. i think many of my working friends are probably going to envy this lifestyle of mine. it is an extended holiday. in Bishan, Singapore. sometimes i feel like a bum. sometimes i embrace the free time as i get to do things that i'm afraid i wont get to do once i enter the workforce. people tell me that the job market now is tight.sometimes i feel that pressure from myself to get a job asap. being the elder daughter, wanting to be independent, repay my usa debts, thank goodness i dont have bank loans to pay. as my mum asked, when will she see the returns of the investment (ie. the university school fees).

i had productive days. productive in a way that it wasnt spent bored at home, facing the laptop and surfing and lamenting about the sad state of an unemployed graduate. i had a nice belated birthday dinner with dan. a spontaneous stay over at a best friend's house after we tried out a free yoga class, sweated buckets with cobras, chaturanga poses, half moons and fleed from hard sell sales associates at the yoga centre. a dim sim lunch with my 93 year old porpor and 2 aunts. i paid porpor a visit on the first friday upon my return. she couldnt recognise me and my hainanese is very bad. but i think she was glad to have visitors, fussing over me to drink milo and eat the kaya bread and ang ku kueh i bought for her. exercise is also a good way to alleviate boredom. meeting up with hall mates. preparing for the written test. and getting that wisdom tooth out. fussing over dan as he studies. i've considered all these as 'productive days'. and soon i want to bake and use that unused bread machine my mum bought years ago. or maybe visit the singapore biennale 08. i still remember i covered their first media conference months back. we went on a duck tour too.

its all these mini things that helps to take my mind off job searching and the pressure of being an unemployed graduate. but its unavoidable. but then again, thank goodness for having so much time that i can probably try to make everyday mean something.

Labels: muse