/ 10:48:00 PM

weary. i miss home. i miss the normal life. normal relationships as i term it. i really hope we can survive thru these. there are, and there will be hard times. but let's pull thru this.

suddenly i feel so empty. like i've been training for nothing. like ihg brings no lessons in life. like i'm just going thru monotonous action. everyday passes with cheer support, training. watching matches or playing in the games. everyday we hit the bottles, make some noise, then we pack up and wait for the next game. we train udner the sun, exposing ourselves to the uv rays, in hope of beating our opponent. we all have one goal. suddenly i wonder whether i have this common goal. is it really important to me.

suddenly u are nothing. it is just reality. maybe i should forget about competing and put my time into my studies and pab next year. maybe the time has come to stop after all these years. it has been a long time, since i started and since i felt like i was worth it, and everything, everyone was worth it.

sometimes we choose our own paths. i think i have travelled for too long.